Relic Knights: The White Whale of Gaming

This day has finally come.

I knew that it would, one day, happen. I would get the call from a friend and they would let me know that our Relic Knights had delivered, and that I was to come get them. That day was last week, and I have finally gotten around to writing up something on them.

Back in 2012, when the Relic Knights Kickstarter was going on, I wasn’t as versed in Tabletop Games. I’d played 40k and Fantasy and those days were behind me. I was playing Warmachine – a game you undoubtedly know I play still, and had abandoned Malifaux to the hells of 1st/1.5 edition. Infinity had just started to sink its teeth into me, but hadn’t really gotten fully there. I was young and naive, and had some extra money to burn. A friend linked me the kickstarter and I took a look. I wasn’t impressed by the cheesecake style of the models, Its just not a thing I go for. There is a large portion of the player base that is ok with fun models, ones that are carrying a pig, or have their ass in the air or something equally as ridiculous, sexy, strange or funny. I just can’t. I’m exceedingly conservative when it comes to my miniatures, with most of the customization and model choices based on how bad ass they’ll look. This game, I kept looking, was most likely not for me.

But I kept looking, kept coming back, and eventually, I decided I’d have to get something. The concepts were pretty good and a pile of my friends were getting into it. I broke it down to Noh, Doctrine, and the Corsairs. Sadly, Noh was very popular, so they were off the table. Though they were the least cheesecakey and would fit my style of badass model, they would rub against my thoughts of not doubling up factions. Doctrine were the opposite. They were so cheesecakey, so over the top sexual that I just couldn’t justify getting them to myself. The Star Nebula Corsairs were it. They had some pretty solid models with just a little less T&A than some factions.

Once I’d decided on factions, I knew I was going to go all in. I watched the Kickstarters progress creep up and up and up, nearly hitting the million dollar mark, and as it steadily increased, the add-on and stretch goals kept being broken through. Many of the Stretch Goal add-ons were completely worthless to me, and it saddened me to see Super Dungeon Explorer models be added to this game I barely wanted and had tossed money at hoping to see models unlocked.

When the kickstarter finally ended, I tallied up my prize money, sent the check to a friend, and called it a day, waiting patiently for the models to come in. Thankfully, I am a patient man. This kickstarter was the poster child for mismanagement. many people were upset it took so long, but I was ok with it. My money was gone, and I figured I’d get product one day. It was a long wait and now that I have them, I am really happy with them.

So, What did I end up with?

Well.
Star Nebula Corsairs Starter Box, Containing
Harker
Ceaser
Corsairs x5
Broadsides Weapon

Calico Kate
Skully
Wildspace Gabe
Fleshreaper

Corsairs x5B
Blowhards x2
Moffet
Iron Chef
Kenbo
Squall
Darkspace Isabeau
Broadsides Weapon

It was a pretty solid haul for what I put in, and I think it’ll lend itself to a variety of games.

The first thing I tackled was the Relic Knight herself, Calico Kate. I really enjoyed putting the model together, and look forward to painting her up one day. The mold lines were annoying, but no more so than any other model I’ve put together on a larger than 40mm base. I did do one small tweak to the model. I didn’t particularly like the sword over the head, so I brought it down a bit and emphasized the tossing of the grenade.  I even found a use for her alternate pose that I wasn’t going to use at all.

The starter box is the Second thing I put together, and it was fairly simple. The models are the same strange resin/Plastic hybrid that I’ve had to deal with in Privateer models, but were good regardless. I have base inserts for all the models, and keep putting them on the models to make basing them harder and painting the model more tedious, because I’m just no good at this.

Harker is an enormous disappointment, and makes me sad I got the model at all. I hate being so extremely critical over a model that someone put so much time into making, but he is just so uninspired. As a person who enjoys even the Seige and Irusk poses that are static as hell, this one is just not ok. Just not an inspiring model, especially when his art was kinda good.

The Corsairs are a mess too, honestly, though in a different function. They are duplicate models in a 5 man unit, with two of those models being in stupid poses and/or exceedingly flat, and the other having bunny ears I’ll deal with them, as they are the common foot solider of the force, but I won’t be happy with it. having the second unit just makes me sad. The mold lines on these models weren’t excessive, again, but they are in strange places and make the models somewhat hard to clean.

Broadsides is an infuriating model. Unlike the rest of the models, this one comes with an extraneous stand that seems to be nothing more than a giant test of will, which I failed. The support on the model is so poorly labeled, places and instructed on how to be used that it might as well not even exist. He’s together now, but by no small feat of wonder.

I’m overall pleased, but the amount and type of mold lines is bothersome. Its just not as clean as I’d like. I’ve tolerated the PP plastics for a while now because the company has a great name behind it. Soda Pop has not built up such a good bank of will that they can spend it so frivolously at the start. We will see how the rest of the line and the models in the future make it out of production.

I look forward to trying these out, but not until September, after the NOVA open and I’ve finished playing my Cephalyx for a bit.